"From Parkdale Memorial Park and Garden Mausoleums."
"Dear Friend,"
"There are a number of questions every family must face,"
"One: Do I have life insurance?"
"Two" Do I have a living will?"
"Three: Have I purchased a family plot?"
"Four: Has my spouse ruined my life by committing suicide and leaving me to pick up the pieces, only there aren't any pieces I can pick up because they're all made of human excrement, and my hands don't work anymore because my brain doesn't work, and I'm not motivated to do anything with my life, but I wish I were motivated enough to kill myself too,"
"Five: Who will pay for all of this?"
Well, at least I know the answer to that last one.
I like the way it's addressed to "Mr. and Mrs."
I wish I were dead.
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