Not this year's winning entry

                                   Our beautiful borough, a place of promise

                                 Where one can make both cash and friends

                           The streets of the Bronx are paved with chocolates

                                     Dropped from caring creatures' ends

                                      At least I poop in a box.

Deep in the subconsciousness of man

                                                       Zzzzzzzz

                                                   I'm dead you know

                                  Yes i know, i'm dead too, but not like you

                       Yes, not like me.  You should have been there for me. 

                                  Why weren't you? You should have saved me.

                                                Dear God i know, i know.

                                      Where were you? Why weren't you there?

                                             I was cleaning toilets.

                                              What product were you using?

                                             It was a foaming acid disinfectant.

                                         Oh yeah, those work great.

                         Yeah, they really do, great for removing urine stains.

                       That was a great job.  I bet you wish you had that job now.

                            I do, I really do.  So how did you die anyway?

                                                 Zzzzzzzzzzzz

People Watching

                                      There are three kinds of New Yorkers.

                                                          Okay.

                                         Those who were born in New York,

                                                      Right..

                                        Those who moved to New York,

                                                          Right..

                                                       And bedbugs.

                                                          Right.

                                                I love Betty Bedbug, she's cute.

                                                   Oh yeah, great legs.

Getting Some Help

                                               May I help you?

                         Oh yes, hi, I'm here for, um, personal counseling...

                       Sure, why don't you have a seat and fill these out for us, k?

                                                  Oh, sure, uh,

  They're just medical history forms, and information about your health insurance.

                            Oh, do I have to have health insurance to come here?

                                                    Next!

Nice Quiet Moment

                               It's so nice to lie here with you like this.

                                   To be under the stars

                                To listen to the sounds of nature, and/or traffic

                                   To feel you next to me, so close, so soft

                                       You're very quiet.  Why?

                                                            I'm dead.

In the time machine: discussing railroad tracks

                                                  I got this plan for us.

                                                    Yeah? What's the plan?

                                                 It's not important right now.

                                                            Okay...

                                                   The plan is A to Z.

                                                    Right.  A to Z.

                             And let's say that at B or C or D or E or F or G

                             or H or I or J or K or L or M or N or P or Q or R

                                         or S or T or U or V or W or X

                            or maybe Y, you decide that you don't like the plan.

                                                     What about O?

                                        And you want me to change the plan,

                                                         Right...

                               And you keep asking me to change the plan,

                                                         MmHmm

                              And so I change the plan, at P, I change the plan.

                                                         Okay...

                                 At P.  And you're happy that I change the plan.

                                                         I'm happy.

                                            Right.  The only thing is...

                       we never get to Z, because I changed the plan at P-

                                                Because I kept asking you...

                                Because you kept asking me to change the plan.

                                                So we never get to Z.

We never get to Z because you didn't like the way the plan was going, and you asked me to change the plan.

                                                   My life is futile.

                                                Right, exactly!