Do not pass go kill yourself

I look at the present from the past as if it were the future.

                             So you

                                          are living

                                             in the past...

                                      It would seem.

                        That's not good.  You're not going to make it very far.

                              Who are you again?

                                       Don't remember.

       Neither do I.  Do I?  Wait, I think I know you.  You're my memories of her.

                                    "Stardust"

But you're not very clear.  You're growing dim.  Covered in dust...  Does anyone care that I'm losing her forever?  That she'll never be back!  She's gone and no one cares.

                                  You care.

But I can't do anything about it.  I tried to write it all down after she was gone, but my brain won't work.  My brain won't work anymore.

                        She was brain dead... and you?

Uncontrollable weeping.  Painridden.  Unconsolable.  

There's no hope.  Why am I having a conversation with the faded memories of my suicide-

                                       Of her.

                                   You have a better chance

                                       Of saving her

                              If there's more than one

                                      of you, of you, of you.

                                           I hate myselves.

Being Thoughtful

       (At the Hallmark in Parkchester)

                   I'm looking for a card that says "thinking of you."

                                     Sure, no problem.

                                 "On your anniversary"

                                      Yep, we can do that.

                           "Anniversary of your bereavement"

                               Ok, let me see.

                               "Of your spouse's suicide."

                                     Umm

"When he abandoned you and the kids and changed your life forever deeply scarring you and leaving you to pick up the pieces and put back together what little life you can eek out as you try to go on alone but you'll never be the same"

                                      Maybe aisle five?

                                 But do you have the Jewish version?

Trick or Tragedy?

                 What are you gonna be for Halloween this year?

                             A suicide victim.

                              That's not very imaginative.

            Well, the last few years I've been going as a suicide survivor.

                     I think you should go as a sexy pirate.

                        You know, with the mustache and everything...

Iphone 5S uicide

                    It was so difficult hearing about your wife's suicide.

                                       Thanks I guess.

                            It was just really, really frustrating.

                               What are you talking about?

                     Just the connection on this stupid phone made everything so jumpy.

                                          ...

                                     I'd almost rather have an e-reader.

Rat the Movies: Melinda and Melinda

Woody Allen's 2004 film, "Melinda and Melinda" is the subject of this month's edition of "Rat the Movies."   (As always there are here what the children call "spoiler alerts," so there you go.)

The film executes an interesting premise, a premise which is hinted at from the very first moments during the opening credits when we notice that the theme music has changed suddenly from sadder, somber music to a happier, more upbeat jazz.  The premise is simple: can we tell the same story twice but in entirely different ways: the first time as a tragedy, the second as a comedy?  We learn of this premise on a rainy night on Manhattan's lower west side as a group of friends, two of whom are playwrights, discuss the essence of life.  Is it essentially comedic or tragic?  As Wallace Shawn surmises, "Tragedy confronts.  Comedy escapes."  

The film's main character, played by the lovely Radha Mitchell, is Melinda, a somewhat mysterious woman with a past who enters each side of the movie by interrupting a dinner party.  The parties are already less than happy, but the entrance of a lone woman searching for something creates the dynamic that Allen will explore for the following ninety minutes, albeit in two different directions.  

Melinda could be the troubled heroine from any number of Hollywood's classic films. She is beautiful, desirable, complicated, and deeply troubled.  She has changed her name.  She smokes incessantly.  She traveled from the midwest by bus to arrive unexpectedly.  We learn she earlier failed to show up when she said she would.  As her friend Laurel's husband Lee states, "She was nuts then.  She's nuts now."

But as we watch both parties in turn we immediately get a sense for what Allen is doing.  The tragic half (with a completely different cast from the comedic side save for Mitchell) has an ominous, uneasy feel to it.  The comedic side is much lighter, able even to jest about Melinda's having taken "28 sleeping pills."  However, there's little occasion to smile during the tragic side as Melinda explains she has tried suicide on numerous occasion, and failed.  We learn she has even been institutionalized in a state mental institution in St. Louis.  Bored with life as a doctor's wife, she falls in love with a mysterious Italian man, only for things to end very badly.  It is interesting to note that in the comedy Melinda has no children, but in the tragedy she does have kids, although she has lost custody of them and spends much time wrestling with the court.

Meanwhile, around both comedic Melinda and tragic Melinda are her unhappy friends who are trying to figure out their own situations and relationships.  Hobie (Will Ferrell), the comedic lead who becomes infatuated with Melinda, and Lee (Jonny Lee Miller), the tragic lead who cannot stand her, are each in marriages that have been in decline (Hobie to Susan played by the adequate Amanda Peet and Lee to Laurel played by the wonderful Chloe Sevigny who steals every scene she is in.  One can't help but want to see more of her).  Susan will eventually leave Hobie for someone she finds more interesting ("Of course we communicate.  Now can we not talk about it?"), while Laurel's leaving of Lee will prove to have deep consequences for Melinda herself.  As the cast of unhappy Manhattanites bemoan their miserable lives we can feel their emptiness whether or not we truly sympathize for them ("Life has a malicious way of dealing with great potential.")  One character wistfully asks, "Who wouldn't profit from a second go-around?"  Perhaps that in a single rhetorical question is the essence of the film.

On a completely random, parenthetical note, there is a scene about twenty-two minutes into the film where nearly every extra is wearing a raincoat.

As Melinda, with the help of her friends, tries to piece her life back together we continue to learn more about her troubled past and her tragic present.  Seeing herself as fat, ugly, guilty, she nonetheless pursues love with Mr. Ellis Moonsong (the excellent Chiwetel Ejiofer).  But her past is holding her back, preventing her from exploring this new relationship.  Ellis asks her what she wants, partly out of a desire to help, but perhaps more from frustration.  Her answer seems so simple: "I want to want to live."  "Everybody wants that" Ellis responds.  And it is in the brief moment of silence, when Mr. Allen allows Melinda to pause, that we catch a glimpse into the severity of her depression.  Her mother committed suicide.  She has been in numerous relationships ("I'm post-modern in bed"), but each of them ends, or rather, must end, because she must end.  

In a fascinating paradox, Hobie (comedy) lies to his wife about his having been out with Melinda, while Laurel (tragedy) lies to her husband about having been out with Melinda and Ellis.  And each of them immediately after the lie look upon their own reflections.  Why did they lie?  Are they in fact lying more to themselves about where they are and what they want?  Could they even be honest if given the opportunity?  And why is Melinda the source of frustration for them both?  Perhaps rubbing a magic lantern would grant them the freedom and happiness they think they want.  

Perhaps we are supposed to think that Melinda is the same person in each side of the film.  The endings however could not be more different.  Comedy Melinda ends up with the man she wants, happily kissing him as the curtains draw closed.  It is not so in the tragedy.  Melinda has experienced loss upon loss.  As Bartok's "turbulent" notes play (a bit of foreshadowing prepared us for this) Melinda ends up with one more suicide attempt, or rather, one more failed attempt, while her friends' hurtful, pathetic words echo: "Let's face it.  Melinda is one of those people who will always need help."

Parenthetically, Allen had earlier shown us another failed suicide attempt that was both humorous and sexy.

               And then there's the ending.  Wow.

I really thought this film worked.  The cast is amazing.  Allen's direction is subtle yet strong.  The single story told in two different worlds really was quite thought provoking.  Lots of layers in this movie.

I agree.  This is a good film to watch if you are interested in the subject of suicide, if you are confused about a relationship in your life, or whatever.

            Thank you for reading this month's episode of "Rat the Movies."

                                  Good night.