The Ratchet Manifesto, part one

Reminder: Remember

                            Why should you kill yourself?

                          Why you should kill yourself:

                                  Uhhh, I'm so depressed.

                                     Me too.

                                Yikes, who are you?

                             I'm Common.  I'm your future.

                           You're my future?  You don't look so good.

                                   I know.  I'm messed up.

                              What am I supposed to do with you?

                         That's what she said!  Hahahhahahhahahahahahahhaah!!!!!

                    to be continued

Reminder: Remember

We here at the office just want to remind everyone that viewer discretion is advised for this blog in general, and especially for these next few episodes in particular.

It's not an easy subject.  You know that.

It's not easy being Ratchet and Catchit.  They know that.

Viewer discretion is advised.

I Gotta Wear Shades

                  at ratchet's funeral

                                   I'm so sorry man.

                                       Thanks Metcalf.

                               Good things are ahead for you Catchit.

                                           Thanks man.

                        You're gonna be out of work for years.

                                      Thanks man.

                              Your mom's gonna die of cancer.

                                     Thanks man.

                                       Jonah's gonna die.

                                       Thanks man.

               You're gonna be in the darkest pit of your life, with no way out.

                                  Thanks man.

                             Look!  Here it comes.... the future!

The Plan

                           I want someone to steal my identity.

                                 Let them be me and I don't have to.

                                  No.... no.  That's not really good.

                                   What's yours?

            I let someone hit me with their car in times square the other night.

                                  What?!

 On the way home, these people with Connecticut plates were making a turn onto 7th,

  they weren't watching, I just let them bump me.  They were super freaked out.

                                    What happened?

         I had a split second to decide: act like I got hurt, yell at them, or just leave.

                                 What'd you do?

                            I don't remember.

                         Hmm, that's cool.  Still, you need a better plan.

                                 Yeah.

                            What if you just go back to your old life?

                             Of being an ordained minister?

                                       You're screwed.

                                 This is a long-ass episode.

Ocean Weight Teaser Trailer

Does your suicide make my butt look big?

                                 So have you been eating well?

                                   Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yeah.  You know:

                                 Shawarma, Sashima... Salsa....  Sicilian...

                                     "From the four corners of the earth."

     Yeah, you know.  I try to eat something each day, whether I need to or not.

                                  Any new recipes?

                             You mean with the pill bottles?