Dying of waiting to die

                         Senior citizens are suicidal too.

                                           Yeah, but they're old.

                               You always did cut in line.

Go Facebook Yourself

                                 When did you start smoking?

                                About the time you stopped, a little after.

                      Great, another example of my bad influences on you.

      Well, the only bad thing is that I really can't afford to be buying these things.

                          Aren't you worried about the health effects?

               Well, the doctor said your lungs were perfect.  I think they were donated.

                   Wow.  And here I am lecturing you.  Funny how things change.

                                             Is it?

                                                   ...

                                     Well, I should probably get going.

  You know, committing suicide during pregnancy can cause serious birth defects.

                                     Yeah, I'm definitely leaving.

                                              Again?

Hypothyroidism

                               My depressing future is now.

                                         It came early.

Suicide the Movie! Now with an alternative ending

                                      I know you don't miss me.

                                             But I miss me.

All Turd States

                                Always remember

                                No matter how hard it is for you

                                    No matter how lonely you get

                                No matter how hopeless you feel

                                    I'm always just six feet away from you.

No F-Bomb Day

                        Are you celebrating Earth Day this year?

                         Every day is Earth Day.

                              That's so lame.  Seriously.

                                    Why'd you ask?

                                What about Spark in the Park?

                    You mean Bark in the Park, where you bring your dog?

                       No, where you bring your doobie and spark up.

                            Where the ________ is this episode going?

                                 That reminds me!

                                    What?

                                No F-bomb day is this Saturday!

                                Really?  There's a No F-Bomb day?

                          Yep, a day with no F-bombs.  Think of that!

                                So are you celebrating it?

                              Well, the Bronx isn't quite so multicultural.

Whitney Houston Suicide

                             Let me check my voice mail...

                   "Catchit...

            It's your (inaudible)

            I just wanted to let you know...

                  I'm praying...

           That you will be able...

             To get on welfare..."

                                 Aww, that was thoughtful.

Meet Me at the Ghetto Gates

                            Yeech.  How's life in the geto?

                                        It is what it is.

                                   You like living here?

                                  It's fine.  I don't care.

                         Is it, like, holding you back or something?

                             No, not at all.  The only thing holding me back is a job.

                                 Really?

                           Yeah, I'm not like these people-

            Wacked, crazy, losers, geto, messed up, deranged, nuts...

                             That's good.

                          Who are you talking to?