Boo Who

What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

A suicide survivor.

Sounds like a pretty cheap costume.

It actually costs a lot.

Blaise Pascal Suicide Part One

"All men seek happiness.

This is without exception.

Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end.

The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views.

The will never takes the least step but to this object.

This is the motive of every action of every man,

even of those who hang themselves."

The Society to Prevent Suicide Prevention

Hey!  Why are you marching in the wrong direction?  We're all going this way.

I realize that, and I appreciate what you think you're trying to do.  You're marching to prevent suicide, and that's admirable of you.

Well, thanks, but, what are you marching for?

I'm marching to prevent suicide prevention.  I'm a member of SPSP, the Society to Prevent Suicide Prevention.

What?  Really?  That's crazy!

I'm sorry if I offend you.  I'm sure your intentions are good.  But I'm actually suicidal myself, and I don't want to be prevented by you.  I need to die.  I want to die.  It's supposed to happen.  By you keeping me here you are prolonging my pain.  You're preventing my loved ones from finding relief in a new life where they are no longer burdened by my depression and suicide attempts.  Taking it upon yourself to stop everyone from committing suicide is incredibly myopic and presumptuous, and fails to take into account the needs of the individual and the uniqueness of each person.  I can't support your narrow minded view, no matter how well intentioned you may think you are.

Well... your donations to us are tax deductible.

So you're okay with the certainty of taxes?

Vibrators Are Appropriation of Male Anatomy

Has it gotten more difficult to be a man since I left?

Not really more difficult, just harder.

How's that?

There're just too many of us.

Oh.

Do you ever get accused of appropriating black culture?

Why?

Didn't you hang yourself?

Wouldn't that be appropriating white culture?

I wish I were dead.

Hey stop that!  You just appropriated my suicide!

Suicide Watch

Hey, do you know what time it is?

It's time to kill yourself.

How do you know it's time to kill myself?

That's what it says right here on my suicide watch.