Thursday, November 28, 2013

You Look Tired

                              You look tired.
                                         Oh...
                                Are you tired?
                                          (Sigh).
          No.  I'm not tired.  I probably just have a disease.  I'll be dead soon.
                                   (I don't know what to say.  I feel so bad.)
Why does everyone say I look tired?  What does that mean?  What does looking tired even look like?  What am I supposed to say to that?  Should I say, "Thanks, let me take a nap right now on the table so that you don't have to look at my tired face once I wake up."  Would that help?  I don't feel tired.  I'm not tired.  I don't care if you think I look tired.  You must not be good at telling when someone is tired because you are totally wrong about me being tired.
                                             ...
                                                I'm going to bed.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Happy Hangsgiving

                           Too chicken to kill yourself on Turkey Day?
                     Have a Happy Thanksgiving, from the ones who love you!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Premeditated Suicide

         Well, the holidays are here.  "The most wonderful time of the year."
                                      So true.  So very true...
    "Simply... having... a wonderful holiday!  Simply... having... a wonderful holiday!"
                                                   That's nice.
                              Hey!  It's your birthday too, isn't it?!
                                              Yes it is.
                           Are you planning on doing anything special for it?
                              Actually, I'm planning on taking my own life.
                                            Wow!  Really?
                                                Yeah.
                               Hey, how old are you gonna be anyway?

Sunday, November 17, 2013

I already read this one

                             I repeat myself,
                                   Therefore I am redundant.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Slovember

                Are you going to participate in Slovember?
                                       ....
                                             .....
                                         ....
                                          Yeah