Friday, December 23, 2011

From the ones who loved you

                             I hate when people regift things.
                              Me too.  Actually, who cares.
                                      I do.  I hate it.
                                    Me too...
                     Isn't this the same family portrait we sent out last Christmas?

Monday, December 19, 2011

So helpful, So hurtful

Be careful
When you use those words
Those two words, seemingly small
yet exceedingly strong
for when you tell me you understand
my heart and soul soar with hope
there is healing, there is comfort, there is help
but
i fear
for they may just be words
two little words
that you use so easily
that you say without even thinking
words that simply slip out through your lips
almost as a reflex
you hear me
you tell me
you tell me that you understand
and now i know you don't
                             Be careful when you use those words.
                                       I understand.
                                         No words help so much as these.
                                   No words hurt as much as these.
                                                 .dnatsrednu I
                                           I used to tell people,
                                    the greatest thing that they could ever find in life
                                    was someone who understood them.
                                        Now I tell people,
                                           it's better
                                    to find someone who admits
                                         that he doesn't understand.
                                            I understand.
                                         Nothing worse than bad poetry.

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Three Causes of Suicide

                                            The past
                                    The present
                                           The future

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My Depression Is Killing Me

                                 Hi.
                            Oh?  You again... hi.
                           So you're thinking about jumping off a bridge?
                                     I don't know.
                                      Not a dam?
                        Huh?  A dam?  Where's there a dam?  The reservoir?
                           Oh I don't know.  I'm just saying.  Bridges are so common.
                            Actually there are beavers in the Bronx River.
                          There you go!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Year of the rat

                       Happy Anniversary.
                                                                                             For what?
                             Our blog is a year old today.
                                                                                            Really?  A year?
                             Yeah.
                                                                            Oh.  Well, Happy Anniversary.
                                 For what?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Condolences

                    I'm so sorry to hear that your mother died of cancer.
                           Thank you.
                      You were a wonderful son and she loved you very much.
                           Thank you.
                    I'm so sorry to hear that your cat died of liver failure.
                               Thank you.
                  You gave him a nice life and were a wonderful friend to him.
                         Thank you.
                       I'm so sorry to hear that your wife committed suicide.
                              Thank you.
                          You must have so many regrets.