Cease and Depress

                              Hi, what's wrong with you?

                                I have breast cancer.

                             Oh.  Well, you should snap out of it.

                            Hi, what's wrong with you?

                                      I have AIDS.

                         Oh.  Well, you should snap out of it.

                              Hi, what's wrong with you?

                            I have diabetes.

                              Oh.  Well, you should snap out of it.

                          Hi, what's wrong with you?

                                I have spinal meningitis.

                            Oh.  Well, you should snap out of it.

                             Hi, what's wrong with you?

                                   I have depression.

                      Oh really?  Have you seen a doctor?

Sorry I Lie to You Every Day

                                How are you doing?

                               Fine

Suicide Life

                                                         "Happy wife, Happy life."

                    That's true.

                                                                         "Unhappy wife, unhappy life."

                                 That must be true too.

                                                                                       "Lost wife, lost life."

                                    Is that the vade mecum?

Suicidebook

                      If you commit suicide you should really update your status.

Positivity (In Your Face!)

                  People who shoot themselves go out with a bang.

Stay Bull Eyes

                             What are you doing tonight?

                         Just hanging around.  What are you doing tonight?

                                     Hanging.  What are you up to?

                                  Hanging out.  What's going on with you lately?

                   Just hanging, just hanging.  How you been holding up?

                               Hanging tough man.  What about you?

                       Hanging in there.  What's new with you?

                    ....Just trying to clear my mind.

                                              Of what?

Happy Eleventh Day of Yesterworld

                       When you come home each night...

                                        Yeah?

                               Why do you check the bed?

                                   You mean for bed bugs?

                            No, you know I don't mean for bed bugs.

                                   What are you talking about?

You come home each day after work, and you always walk over to the bed room and look in, and you check the bed to see if I'm lying there; to see if I'm under the covers.

                                              ...

                                       Don't you?

                                  Well... yeah, but...

                                        What?

                                    .....nothing.  It's nothing.

                              Part of you is wanting to see me there.

                                             ...

                                        Right?

                                                 ...

                                 And part of you is terrified that I'll be there.

                                         ...

                                    Isn't that right?

                                              ...

                                That sucks for you, doesn't it?

                                                I guess....

                     You know I'm never gonna be in that bed, don't you?

                                ...Yeah...

                                   So why do you check?

                                             Just in case.

                                 What do you do after that?

                                   ...  I take a shower....

                                      Do you check first?

                                                          ...