M&M-a-nize

   "Deep in the subconsciousness of man..."

What are you doing?

                    I'm M&M-a-nizing.

                   What's that?

I opened a bag of M&Ms.  Now I'm organizing them, according to a pattern.  Once they are M&M-a-nized, then I can eat them.

You can't just eat them, like, just eat them, however, you know... when they come out of the bag?

                           No.

                                  Why not?  I wonder?

                             What time is it?

                                It's (garbled).

                           Oh, well I can't eat them anyway.  Not now.

                                 Why not?

                             I have to wait until a right time.

                                   When's the right time?

                There's no "the" right time.  It can be any of the right times.

                           Oh... You mean like in shifts?

                                     No.  No!  (Sigh)

                                Sorry...

When the numbers are right, and the colors are right, then you can eat.  That's why you M&M-a-nize.  So that everything is right.

                                It seems hard.

                               At least these don't melt so fast.

Bleak Street, and Getting Bleaker

                                                  ....

             Hey!  Who are you?  I've seen you before...

                          I almost made it across the road, didn't I?

                             Yeah, cool.  But who are you?

                        I'm your failures.  That's why you've seen me before.

                        Ohhh.  Yeah, how could I forget you.

                                   I'm the cousin to your regrets.

                            Right.  It's coming back to me.

                          I'm all you tried to do for her, but it never worked out.

                                         Yeah, yeah.

                      And you ended up getting flattened.

                                  Hmmm.

                              In some ways you died before she died.

                        Really.  Wow.  That's heavy.  But is that true?

                    Depression kills.  Do I need to prove it to you?

                         No, of course not.  It's just that.

                             What?  You're gonna need a bigger blog?

                         No.  Nothing.  Just so many failures.

                       I know.  That's why you see us everywhere you look.

                                Epilogue

Can I just ask you: what would have happened if I would have made it across the street?  What if I didn't fail?  What would life have looked like then?

                        A happy tree.  I don't know.  Some nuts?

New T-shirts

                             My wife is a survivor of breast cancer!

              My wife is a survivor of ovarian cancer!

                        My wife is not a survivor of depression!

The Next and Last Stop

                               Why is the train delayed?

                       There was a suicide.  Someone jumped in front of a train.

                                      How do you know?

                                 Didn't you hear the anouncement?

              All it said was something about an "earlier incident."  Oh..., I get it.

                                          Yeah, code.

                      At least my suicide didn't slow down your commute.

                                             Thanks