Precious Moments

                              Mommy, why is grass green?

                                             Because of chlorophyl.

                                  Mommy, why is the sky blue?

                                     Because ... the atmosphere.

                               Mommy, why are beer and piss the same color?

                                 Have you ever read Catch-22?

                          Mommy, why did the tour guide jump into the tiger pit?

                              He was trying to save the tigers; they looked sad.

                                Mommy, why did the tigers eat him?

                            The tigers were trying to save him; he looked sad.

                            Mommy, when are we gonna go home and see daddy?

                                            Never.  Never ever.  Never.

                                     Mommy, can we have ice cream?

                         All they have is dippin' dots, the ice cream of the future.

                                       But Mommy, that's the kind I want!

                    WE DON'T HAVE A TIME MACHINE YOU LITTLE KID!!!

                                         Waaah, waaah (sob)