Ratchet and Catchit

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Ruth's Crisis

How's the vulvodynia?

It's feels like my swollen and distended vagina is being stabbed repeatedly by a rusty steak knife.

I'm actually getting kind of hungry.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Suicide Tourism

How was your trip to the alps?

Horrible. Want to see my slides?

No.

Ok, here goes.

Here I am contemplating jumping off this mountain.

Uh huh.

Here I am contemplating jumping off this cliff.

Hmm.

Here I am contemplating jumping off my balcony.

How were the beaches?

Monday, January 19, 2015

Home a Lone

(Sigh)

If I came home

and you were in bed

I would kill myself

...

What if you came home

And I had killed myself?

...

I would probably go to bed

...

Friday, January 16, 2015

Missing Person

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Only 1 More Day (2 Dread)

Buzzzzz

So what do you want to do for your birthday?

Commit suicide

Are you answering me or telling me to?

Is there a difference?

Buzzzzz

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Cease and Depress

Hi, what's wrong with you?

I have breast cancer.

Oh. Well, you should snap out of it.

Hi, what's wrong with you?

I have AIDS.

Oh. Well, you should snap out of it.

Hi, what's wrong with you?

I have diabetes.

Oh. Well, you should snap out of it.

Hi, what's wrong with you?

I have spinal meningitis.

Oh. Well, you should snap out of it.

Hi, what's wrong with you?

I have depression.

Oh really? Have you seen a doctor?

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Sorry I Lie to You Every Day

How are you doing?

Fine