Stay Bull Eyes

                             What are you doing tonight?

                         Just hanging around.  What are you doing tonight?

                                     Hanging.  What are you up to?

                                  Hanging out.  What's going on with you lately?

                   Just hanging, just hanging.  How you been holding up?

                               Hanging tough man.  What about you?

                       Hanging in there.  What's new with you?

                    ....Just trying to clear my mind.

                                              Of what?

Happy Eleventh Day of Yesterworld

                       When you come home each night...

                                        Yeah?

                               Why do you check the bed?

                                   You mean for bed bugs?

                            No, you know I don't mean for bed bugs.

                                   What are you talking about?

You come home each day after work, and you always walk over to the bed room and look in, and you check the bed to see if I'm lying there; to see if I'm under the covers.

                                              ...

                                       Don't you?

                                  Well... yeah, but...

                                        What?

                                    .....nothing.  It's nothing.

                              Part of you is wanting to see me there.

                                             ...

                                        Right?

                                                 ...

                                 And part of you is terrified that I'll be there.

                                         ...

                                    Isn't that right?

                                              ...

                                That sucks for you, doesn't it?

                                                I guess....

                     You know I'm never gonna be in that bed, don't you?

                                ...Yeah...

                                   So why do you check?

                                             Just in case.

                                 What do you do after that?

                                   ...  I take a shower....

                                      Do you check first?

                                                          ...

Dead Moines

                    What do you call a suicidal person from the Mid-west?

                I had to throw away another pair of your underwear.

                             A deadly Iowegian?

Then the last bottle of windex you bought.  But worst of all the toaster oven is getting ready to go.

                                      Hoosier-cidal?

It's so heavy carrying all of this!  It was heavy to carry you and now it's heavy to carry the absence of you!  When do I get a break?!  When do I get a normal life?!

                       Wait, what are you doing wearing my underwear?

Deep Thoughts with Ratchet and Catchit

                        I'm thinking about committing suicide.

                                        What about it?

Depression Is a Marathon

                              You should get into running.

                                       Running?

     Yeah, running.  Most runners find that it lifts their spirits.

                                   Hmm.

                              But there's a lot of pain involved.

                        Great, great.  What they do once the run is over?

                            Just, whatever, whatever they want.

                      I do a lot of running, running away anyway.

                                 Oh good!

                      Depression lifts my spirits more than anything really.

                             Well, it was just an idea.

                      Anyone ever run away and never come back?