Sunday, October 2, 2011

Thoughts from the Absent Thousand

                                               ........
                           Why didn't you call me before you did this?
                                     I couldn't have called you.
                                        Yes you could have.
                                  I know, I know.  But really, I couldn't.
                             There's a thousand people you could have called.
                        I know, I know.  But really, a thousand times I couldn't.
                                       What are you talking about?
                                    I had a thousand people in my life,
                                  who would've told me I could have called them.
                                      But what if I would have called them?
        Would they have wanted to be taking a call from a suicidal girl at 11 at night?
                                     Could they have done anything to help me?
                                      Who can you call
                                            ....
                                     from your hole in the Bronx,
                                            ....
                                      when you're up at 11 at night,
                                             ....
                                        shuffling around the apartment crying,
                                         ....
                                         holding a knife,
                                            ....
                                           telling the cat you're sorry,
                                            ....
                                           telling the rat you're sorry,
                                            ....
                                             telling God you're sorry
                                             ....
                                              bleeding.
                                     You have a thousand friends you can't call.
                                            And you know it.
                                            I know I knew it.
                    But at least your bleeding, right?  No blood no life, right?
                                              I bleed.
                                    But I think it's just an abscessed tooth.

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