Brain Power

                             You know, I really hate it when

                                      People finish your sentences?

What is suicide?

                           What is suicide?

                                        Correct, choose again.

                                         Great escapes, 400.

                                          The answer is... the daily double!

The Five Stages of Grief is Bull, part one

                         Hey, how are the five stages of grief going?

                                 Stage one was the hardest.

                           What stage are you on now?

                                     Stage one.

Mr. and Mrs. Dreg

                                (Knock Knock)

Who's there?

Hi Catchit, it's me your landlord with the plumber.  He's here to look at your clogged stove.

Oh, ok, thanks.  Um, I'm sorry, would you guys mind taking your shoes off before you come in?  It's just that my wife keeps the apartment real clean and I don't want to mess it up.

Sure no problem.

(His wife is dead.)

Less Dysfunctional

Taking a break for a month or so, till mid June or so.  Going on a journey, either to find spiritual healing or to kill myself, whichever comes first.  If I miss your birthday I'm really, really sorry.

Calling the Suicide Hotline

                          Hello, Suicide Hotline...

                   Oh hello, my name is Catchit and I'm about to commit suicide.

                Okay, thank you for calling.  Let me just get a pen.

                                       Okay.

                           Okay, now is this going to be your first suicide attempt?

                                      Uh, yeah, I think so.

                  Okay, well right now we're looking for someone with more experience.

                                             Oh.

    But let me take your name anyway, and if something changes, hey, you never know, right?

                                  Right.  Thank you.

                           What was your name again?

I'm Craving Vienetta

                      I did something crazy tonight.

                        What?

                Maybe not crazy, just something I thought I would never do.

                             What?

Remember that one shirt that I had that I really like but it didn't go with any of my ties?

                                  The club shirt?

                                        Yeah.

                                    Yeah, I remember it.

                 Well, I haven't worn it, you know, since everything happened.

                                  Why not?

Because it still had the dry cleaning tags on it.  Basically meaning that you were alive the last time I wore it.

                                    Oh.  

So anyway, I just decided to wear it to dinner.  I ripped the tags off.  When I did, you were more gone.

                                      More gone?

                                     I don't know.

I don't know anything anymore.  My life has no meaning, other than dry cleaning tags.

                                    This is boring.