Condolences Tree

                 Hey, haven't talked to you in a while!  How's your mom doing?

                                 Still dead...

                                    ...

                            Sorry, I've been waiting to say that to someone.

                    Yeah, that's not messed up or anything.

Condolences Too

                            I'm sorry to hear about your wife.

                                        Thank you.

     No, I'm mean I'm sorry to have heard.  Why'd you have to tell me?  So depressing.

The Usual

                              I'm crying.

                                           I'm trying.

                                         Hi guys.

                                           Oh hi!!!

                                               Oh..... hello...

                                        Is this a bad time?

                                               No!

                                    Yeah, can you come back later.

                                          Sure.

                      Listen, don't listen to him.  If you leave I'm leaving.

                                        Tickets please ... tickets ...

                                         Oh, um...

                             Have you guys both had your tickets punched?

                                             I have an idea.

                                              What's that?

                     Why don't you try to get a job in the field of suicide prevention?

                                           Huh?

         You know, become a counselor to help those who are thinking of doing it.

                                  Can I use my wife as a reference?

Memory Lame

                                  Fond memories are the faint ones.

                            Bad memories are the bright, clear, vivid ones.

What do you mean I don't suck?

                                   Tickets please.  Tickets.

                    Don't you get depressed standing in this dark elevator all day?

                                Well... this elevator isn't why I'm depressed.

                                     But it is why I'm down.

Soda Pressed

                                         I'm so depressed.

                         Step one: the person commits suicide

                        Step two: you google them.

                                      I'm thirsty.

When Ratchet Howls

                 Sorry to keep you waiting.  I really want you to meet my wife.

                                      It's okay.

                                      She's always running late.

                              I wish you could meet my late wife too.

                                              Huh?