Ratchet and Catchit

Thursday, March 9, 2017

How can I tell if I'm suicidal?

Who did you vote for?

What difference does that make?

Do you want me to answer your question?

What do you call a hopeless, depressed, suicidal Jets fan?

I don't know, what do you call a hopeless, depressed, suicidal Jets fan?

A Jets fan.

Hey, could you get me the food processor? It's on the top shelf and I can't reach it.

Oh... I'm sorry. I gave it away. I didn't think we needed it anymore.

What am I supposed to do with these walnuts then? Just beat them with a hammer?

But you hate brownies with nuts. We both do. Why are we having this conversation?

You're the one who is always lamenting about losing memories

Because so many of my memories are nuts.

Hi.

What's up with the beard?

This Christmas I'm committing Santacide.

Happy Holidays from Ratchet and Catchit.

I am so depressed. I wish I were dead.

I'm praying for you. You should pray about it too.

Dear God.... please kill me.

Yeah, so my wife was on life support for five days, and I ended up having to pull the plug on her.

Wow, that must have so tough.

Well, it's actually more of a switch nowadays rather than an actual plug.

...

So it's not that tough.