When Push Comes to Suicide

                  So the other day I was thinking about jumping in front of a train.

                             Subway or elevated train?  Or Metro North?

                            Subway.  Does it really matter though?

                      We'll jump off that bridge when we get there.  Continue.

Anyway, you know the left side of the platform is where the train comes into the station.  So that's where you want to be if you're jumping, 'cause the train comes in fast on the left but is slower the more toward the right side you go.

                                                My head is hurting.  

So anyway, for some reason, I'm on the right side of the platform, I wasn't thinking straight-

                                     No pun intended, right?

                 So... I'm gonna jump in front of this slow moving train.

                                                 Right.

                                             And-

No, I get it.  You picked the wrong side of the platform, and when you jumped the train was moving too slow to kill you.  That's why you're still here telling me this story.

Well, yeah, that would have been the case maybe, had I even gotten to jump.

                                     Oh, really?  What happened?

Well this jerk on the platform starts pushing and shoving everybody and yelling stuff like a crazy man, so I shove him away from me and yell, "Leave me alone!  I'm getting ready to jump here!!"

                                            Wow!  That's crazy!

                                   Yeah, he could have killed me.

                                           That would have been terrible.

                                                     I know.

Happy Thanksgiving from Ratchet and Catchit

                                   Happy Thanksgiving.

                                     Thanks.

                 Do you want to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade?

                      That's not what Thanksgiving is all about.

                                       Oh, that's true.

                      Do you want to get on line for Black Friday sales?

                            No, that's not what Thanksgiving is about.

                                 Oh, I guess you're right.

                                  Wanna just stay home and watch a movie?

                             That's not what it's about either.

                                    I just wish I were dead.

                              Hey!  Now there's the spirit of the holiday.

                                         You're welcome.

Beastroy the Beastroyer

                   You know I kill rodents for a living.

                         I know.  Not sure I want to talk about it.

                               I had to kill two mice the other day.

The trap caught them alive.  They were both trapped in the box until I got there.

                                  Yeah?

                  So I flushed them, which is what I do when I catch live mice.

                              Yeah?

I noticed something very interesting as I watched them in the toilet bowl.

One of them struggled hard, swam as hard as he could, survived flush after flush after flush.  He wouldn't go down.

                                 hmm

The other one struggled for a while, but then... he gave up.  He just went down with out much of fight. Like he was accepting death.  Embracing death.  Maybe even swimming toward it, welcoming the end of his life.

What made the difference?  Why does one fight to survive and the other surrender to the end?

                      Did you ask?  Did you ask them?

                            I was too busy drowning myself.

To suicide with love

                           Why did the boy throw the clock?

                              He wanted to see time fly.

                                    But why did the boy want to see time fly?

Because he struggled with depression and had thoughts of suicide even from an early age and often wished that his life would end since he was powerless to have stopped it from ever beginning.

                                                 Oh.

                                          That's funny.

Show me your ears

                                 How's the album coming?

                             Great.  I haven't worked on it for weeks.

                                  That's... something.

                                Thanks.

                                   Are you still performing in clubs?

              The only place that invites me to sing is the school for the deaf.

                        Do you bring your guitar?