From the hollow of a fallen tree

                          If you have no life,

                        and you commit suicide,

                                   does it count?

Bad News Too

                                                                                How's your mom doing?

                         Still dead.

                                                                                   Oh man, I'm sorry...

                                                                         that your father didn't die first.

                       No suicide survivors were harmed during the writing of this blog.

Nothing Happens

                                  Nothing happens in this one.

Cry me a liver

                   Hi, what's new?  (Note: Not, "How are you doing?")

                            Oh, well, -

                            I'm down south burying my mother...

                    When I get a phone call that my dead wife's baby died...

                                   April 20, 1998 - November 14, 2011
               With the rat in heaven

                                    That chair.... it looks familiar.

                                   And when I get home to bury him...

                   I see that my basil plant had died... all brown and shriveled... dead.

                                     Hmmm.

                                     What?

                                       Everything you love dies.

                                             I know.

                                     You don't still love me, do you?

It's that time of the month

                        Due to the death of someone

                                the blog is on temporary hiatus

                                   for about two weeks.

                                    Don't be a stranger.

The Job Market

                  Well, we want to thank you for applying for this job.

                                       No, thank you!

                                  Now, you're whose nephew?

                                           I'm sorry?

                                  Your uncle works here, right?

                     Oh?!  No, no I don't have any uncle that works here that I know of.

                         Oh?!  Well, does someone in your family work here?

                                           I don't think so...

                               Well then how did you get this interview?

            (The wheels begin to turn....)

                  Ohhhhh, you mean...  Joey, my cousin's uncle.  Who works... here.

                                  Thanks for coming in.  You can exit through the front.

Ummmmm....  Can I use your internet real quick?  I just want to check something on family tree dot com.

As a matter of fact, I am available Friday night

Deep in the subconsciousness of man

                                 Long drop hanging

Death is supposed to be instantaneous.  The weight of the victim is used to calculate the length of the drop. "The ideal force to break the neck is 1,260 foot pounds and the length of the drop is 1,260 foot pounds divided by the body weight of the prisoner in pounds."  "If the drop is too long, the victim can be entirely decapitated.  This is still preferable to too short a drop."

Short drop hanging

The shorter the hang the harsher the punishment.  "The 'short drop,' a sadistic version of hanging, can take up to 45 minutes of slow asphyxiation.  When the body's fall is too short the neck doesn't break.  The air isn't even completely cut off.  Instead, the noose constricts slowly.... A strangulation... Painful... Frightening... The victim's neck muscles may also be too strong, and the rope may not be lubricated enough to slide over skin and pull up quickly."

Suspended in the air... like a crucifixion.