Getting Older

     What do you want for your birthday?

                                                                         Oh, just a job I guess...

     Wuh,...uhm... well, what else do you want for your birthday?

                                                                         Oh I don't care.   A hot dog...?

     Oh yeah?  A hot dog for your birthday?

                                                                                          Sure

     What kind?  Coney Island chicken?  Dirty water midtown?  Papaya shack special?

                                                          Oh...how about a Yankee Stadium hot dog?

     What else do you want for your birthday?

Playing the Field

                                               I like weirdos.

                         Me too.  You mean like moody vampire types?

                             Actually I'm thinking more like cult leaders.

                                                      Really?

                       Yeah, I'm thinking I'd actually like to join a cult.

                                     Really?  Like satanic cult?

                      I'm thinking something more non-denominational.

                                                          More non?

                  No thanks, I'm still trying to finish off all this basmati.

New York Continues Renaming Itself

So I was walking across the Triboro Bridge the other day and...

                                                                                      RFK

Huh?

                                                   RFK Bridge.  They renamed it the RFK bridge.

Oh, really?  OK, so I'm walking across the RFK Bridge the other day, right?

                                                                                           Yeah?

And I step in this big pile of dog Kennedy.

                                                                                      Oh man that's the worst.

I know, right?  So I'm scraping dog Kennedy off my foot for like twenty minutes.

                                                                                        Gross.

I was so ticked off.

                                                  I like in the morning when I take a huge Kennedy, and it comes out perfectly clean, I don't even need to wipe my Kennedy hole.

Yeah, that's awesome!

                                                                                           Yeah.

So when you go to Vegas what airport you flying out of?

                                                                                        Idlewild.

Oh, word?

Episode Three: Happy Holidays from Ratchet and Catchit

                                 Man this holiday season is so commercialized.

                                    It's all about money and materialism.

                                             Everybody's trying to get richer.

             Selling their junk to somebody else so they can buy somebody else's junk.

                                         All in the name of Christmas.

                                    Brother, I wish I had a piece of that.

                                                         Yeah, me too.

Episode Two: Job Hunting in the Bronx

                                        What's going on?

                                     Oh, just out looking for a job...walking the streets of NYC.

                                Bummer...that's discouraging.

                                                                  Yeah, feels hopeless.

                                                Yeah...

                                                         But I saw a sparrow today.

                                                    Yeah?

                               Yeah.  It reminded me of how God takes care of His children.

                                        So you ate the sparrow?