No Sming

Cigarettes and tampons

                               Why do you keep buying my tampons?

                            Oh my gosh.  Ugh!  Fuhhhh!

                         No, seriously, why do you keep buying them?

                          Uggh!!  I don't know!  I don't know!

                                       I'm sorry.

                                     Uhhhhhh

                               You know I don't need them anymore.

                                   I know!  I know!

                                   You should probably save your money.

                                    Who cares... Who cares!!!

          And especially the cigarettes, you should stop buying those for me, so expensive.

                   Please stop  please stop  please stop.  Please just.... ugghhh

I'm just saying, I know you miss me, but you gotta stop buying women's sanitary products.

                                       ohhhhh.. gosh..  uhhhhhh

         It just looks funny, you buy peanut butter and jelly and panty liners?  Every week?

               Just leave me... just leave me alone... God help me, help me, help me, help me.

                            I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.

                  No!  No!  No!  No!  No!  No!  No!

                               Plus, heaven is non-smoking.

                                     That's so not funny.

                         And seriously, do you think anyone here is on their monthly cycle?

               AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please don't text during my suicide

                        When did you become so voyeuristic?

                      It's tough to break, so many interesting people.

                   No more meditation for you.  Live in the instant.

                    I know.  I update my status to "contemplating suicide."

                     Really?  Omigosh!  Why?!

                            I get more traffic that way.

                              And a very special one to MG from DS.

Punchline 2

    What's the difference between killing yourself and letting yourself die?

                           I don't know.  What?

                                    I'm asking you.

                               Oh, I thought you were telling a joke.

From the hollow of a fallen tree

                          If you have no life,

                        and you commit suicide,

                                   does it count?

Bad News Too

                                                                                How's your mom doing?

                         Still dead.

                                                                                   Oh man, I'm sorry...

                                                                         that your father didn't die first.

                       No suicide survivors were harmed during the writing of this blog.

Nothing Happens

                                  Nothing happens in this one.